Sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

Windows vulnerability

Windows vulnerability

The guinea pig would rather not get shot.

Throwback Thursday: Apparently it’s just not in their job description

Throwback Thursday: Apparently it’s just not in their job description

Or ‘Toner out’ is way too cryptic a message.

Wayback Wednesday: New year, same old users

Wayback Wednesday: New year, same old users

Would hairspray have been better?

Grounded

Grounded

How to foil a technology thief, 1995 edition.

Deep background

Deep background

When I asked you if you had changed anything — oh, never mind!

Flashback Friday: User tweaks: The gift that keeps on giving

Flashback Friday: User tweaks: The gift that keeps on giving

Nothing is ever truly fixed.

Throwback Thursday: It seemed as if you would be quicker

Throwback Thursday: It seemed as if you would be quicker

Help is just a phone call away.

No silent night

No silent night

Happy holidays to all!

It’s a small world after all

It’s a small world after all

Lesson 1 was unexpected.

That boss is all wet

That boss is all wet

Is penny pinching its own reward?

¿Qué pasó?

¿Qué pasó?

I don’t think you can blame this one on island time.

Throwback Thursday: What repels as well as attracts?

Throwback Thursday: What repels as well as attracts?

Maybe the lab is a little too future-ready.

No way out

No way out

Make that call or go outside; either way, you’re going to have red ears.

Time-Machine Tuesday: We’re picturing two bathtubs in a field

Time-Machine Tuesday: We’re picturing two bathtubs in a field

You might want to check what other emails have been blocked.

Code blue

Code blue

Would there be a code if there had been two recoveries?

The usual suspects

The usual suspects

So, she’s a one-woman IT department AND a private eye?

Throwback Thursday: Just our way of saying thanks

Throwback Thursday: Just our way of saying thanks

It’s always nice to feel appreciated.

Hey, he said sorry

Hey, he said sorry

Maybe fish just needs better bladder control.

DOS-si-do

DOS-si-do

Where the heck is CTRL-Z?

Memory-Lane Monday: Sometimes these things just slip our minds

Memory-Lane Monday: Sometimes these things just slip our minds

Flies, honey, vinegar.

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